Toast on the Ceiling posted about potty training, and as I read about her struggles, I remembered my own with my kids. So, I've decided today to blog about those times.
Warning: get some healthy snack before reading... this is going to take a while.
Rachel wasn't potty trained until she was four, and then it was very much a literal hit or miss. We started potty training simply because I was getting tired of changing three sets of diapers. Cloth diapers at that. So, I got a book that seemed to be in line with our philosophy regarding training our kids and got Rachel a small potty that could be moved around the house. She was three at the time.
I had several concerns right from the start. First, Rachel at the time had a fascination with smearing poop on the walls. In fact, one of the beauties of cloth diapers was that she couldn't take off her diaper whenever she pooped so that she could cover the wall with it. And when I say cover, I'm not talking about a couple of streaks on the wall. I mean cover. Kids work surprisingly fast when they decide on a course of action and by the time I got to her, I rarely found anything smaller than a 2 foot square area that had to be cleaned off. One part of the wall had a definite smell, she had covered it so often. I think we finally managed to get rid of the smell by using something with orange oil in it. Not sure on that because I was only starting to phase out the chemicals we used for cleaning.
Second, communication was almost impossible at this point. She had some basic comprehension and could obey very simple one-step commands but we still struggled with the idea of a series of steps that had to be accomplished in a certain order.
And finally, there was, as always, my time or the lack thereof. I had two younger children to take care of, one of whom was starting to show signs of speech delay as well (Sarah). This was on top of what felt at the time like an enormous amount of work trying to keep the house together, meals on the table, and research into decent avenues for therapy now that Rachel no longer qualified for ECI (early childhood intervention).
It took several months just to get to the point where I was able to slide the potty under her just as she was peeing. I went over the top with my enthusiasm and I to this day remember the look Rachel gave me: You mean that's what you've been wanting me to do? After this, it took a few more months for her to use it on a somewhat consistent basis. Even then, she preferred (I discovered... don't ask how) using toy boxes and organizing bins.
We switched to mesh bags for holding toys, kept any other boxes out of reach, and made sure we cleaned up any and all accidents. Looking back, that was the most difficult period I think we've ever gone through with our kids.
By this time, Rachel was four. I took an honest look at her development and realized that it would probably be several years before she would have the muscle control necessary to hold it all through the night. That helped me be patient as we cleaned up mattresses, and eventually put a plastic cover on the bed though I still felt frustrated at times that there was one more item that she was behind on.
Rachel is now almost ten, and we still have a plastic sheet on her bed, though I haven't had to clean up any accidents for a while now. We still have struggles with her and using the potty on occasion, but nothing like before.
Sarah was similar in many ways to Rachel, though she never had the fascination with poop that Rachel did. She also loves being clean so once she figured out what she needed to do she did it pretty consistently. Like Rachel, though, she had trouble wetting the bed at night.
By this point, I was so sick of potty training that I dreaded training the next child, though I knew it would be easier because Becky is not normal in her speech either: she is a genius when it comes to articulating her thoughts. But I didn't have to do anything. She watched her sisters and figured it out on her own. The next thing I know she's telling me she's not going to use diapers anymore. And she didn't.
She also took training the next child out of my hands by showing her as well when she saw I had started the process. I've had to do next to nothing in the way of potty training since beyond buying underwear and pull-ups for nighttime.
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Asher was really tough with potty training too! Although, part of that was lack of help from home. We finally put him in underwear when he was four. He was doing great before he left for Oregon, but was never the same after. He would resist going to the bathroom until he couldn't hold it anymore. We kept expecting him to grow out of having accidents, but it just never came. Jeremy and I finally decided we had better take him to the doctor. He was 7 years old and still pooping in his pants almost everyday. The doctor said he had an impaction from resisting the urge to go to the bathroom all those years. He is now on a prescription laxative and doing so much better. He rarely has problems now. His muscles are still not very sensitive and sometimes he can't hold it if he has to wait for a while to reach a bathroom. Sorry this is a long post! I can relate to the frustration of potty training!! And I know the importance of helping your children with it. Asher is now comfortable with talking with us about going to the bathroom. It helps us alot to help him more when we know what's going on!
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