Has it really been three months?

It's been a long three months. I found out I'm pregnant, we acquired a puppy, a close relative of mine gave birth and I was involved in the festivities and gifting, and this on top of homeschooling, therapy, and trying to figure out how to get our SR program off the ground, not to mention the daily grind of watching over 6 kids and helping out my husband.

It's been two years and we still don't have anything set up. To say I'm discouraged at this point is a bit of an understatement. So, for just this post, I'm going to rant a bit and indulge in a little self-pity. Feel free to ignore if you like. Following the rant I'll make some goals for summer.

I have had enough. I have been going full tilt since 2000 and eight years of never taking a break is more than enough to press a person to burnout. I haven't been able to get any volunteers (a fair number of calls but no takers) and I don't feel comfortable going through the university when we rent a house. I'd feel much more comfortable if we owned our house and could get it properly set up so the volunteers could be supervised in an adequate environment. Plus, there are a few repairs that need to be done before I even feel comfortable doing any sort of therapy in there (we recently fixed the blinds but the walls need to be painted and our landlord still hasn't fixed the closet door).

So, we've been doing therapy in a more informal way. Except it's getting more and more difficult to do that, especially with all the other recent draws on my time (puppy, pregnancy, etc.). Thank goodness we aren't just doing SR; we've also been using diet and nutrition and those aspects of our home-based program are going strong. In fact, I think a major reason Rachel and Sarah continue to grow is because we haven't focused all our attention on one therapy for them. SR is something I've been excited about ever since we first found out about it, but it's proving next to impossible to get the support we need for it.

Which brings me to my next topic. We haven't been able to find a babysitter. You'd think, with all the young moms in our area that maybe one or two might be willing to get a little extra cash. You know, bring the young ones and just watch five kids for an afternoon (2 hours) twice a week. It can't possibly be that hard. However, apparently when you use any number larger than 2 in reference to the number of children you would like someone to watch people just shrug and say it's too big a job.

It's not. When you have that many kids, they mostly amuse themselves. The only reason a parent is there is to make sure no one pokes their eye out.

Or are young mothers that overwhelmed by motherhood nowadays?

Granted, I've been staying mostly in my own church for this and occasionally talking to people at the university. So, maybe I need a more thorough plan to get our SR program going. I've already gotten an offer to attach our family to a larger group so that we will also be considered a non-profit organization... but the thought of all the legal hassles that might entail just makes me even more tired than before.

And that's what I feel the most right now. Tired. I'm too tired to write anymore, so I'll just go to the goals for this summer.

• Rest. That's a big one right there. Between rest and good food over the next two months, I might be ready for school to start again in August.
• Get the girls' room up to snuff. This means painting the walls and fixing the closet door, even if it means fixing it ourselves (I'd much rather the landlord fix it but you gotta do what you gotta do).
• After the room is in what I consider a therapy-conducive state, make a list of all the local churches and begin putting up ads for babysitters. Also, place ads in the local paper and at the local health food store. (If worse comes to worse there's a babysitting service that recently started up in our area... I might end up using that though I'm not sure if our budget can handle it).
• Here's the most important one. I need to figure out some low-energy way to create more cash flow. Blogging would be one way, but the problem is that the topics for the two blogs I have aren't something I feel comfortable turning into a cash flow site. And I'm not good enough at sewing yet to feel comfortable using that as a money-maker. So, for the next two months, I'm going to list my skills and see if I can't make an extra $500 a month starting in September. That's pretty reasonable, isn't it? Heck, even $100 would be nice. And before anyone thinks that my husband doesn't make enough and should make more, that isn't it. He has always worked very hard for this family and I don't want to take away from that. I just don't feel it's fair to him to shoulder the responsibility of bringing in all the income, especially when the extra we need is such a small amount. However, there's a reason I stated "low-energy" earlier. As I said before, I'm tired. I don't need a way of making money that will take up vast amounts of time I don't have.

And in the interest of making sure I rest, I think that will do it for goals this month. I will also try to post to this blog at least once a week, with a goal for each week in the various areas we're trying to improve so that I make sure we keep doing the SR program informally at the very least.

So, I open the floor. Any ideas on the above goals? And thanks for slogging through my rant. I promise I will do all in my power to make sure it's a long time before I feel the need again.

Oh, and I also got a sensory integration book and a music therapy program. The music therapy program seems to be a bit unnecessary at this point for Sarah, but I think it might really help Rachel who isn't quite as high functioning as her sister. And the sensory integration book will definitely help both of them. I'll review both next week.

Goal for this Week: Responding to unacceptable behaviors by slowing down my own behavior and responding quickly to acceptable behaviors. It's kind of like positive reinforcement except the reinforcement comes from seeing how people are much more likely to respond in the way they want if they behave in a socially acceptable way. Stimming is exempt from this.

Update: Sarah has stopped flapping her arms for her stim. She now has a phrase I can't understand that she chants. It doesn't happen more than a handful of times during the day and because I can't understand the phrase, I feel hesitant joining. So, for now, I'm just going to accept it and work on the above goal. Maybe next week.