update and farewell 2008

I was going to do a year in review until I realized that I had only started the baseline for this year in July so any official before/after will only reflect half the year. And anything before July isn't detailed enough to warrant a full post unless you go back to 2007 and then it isn't really a "year in review" anymore.

And then I thought why not do a "future goals" post? But by the time I'd finished writing it, I wasn't sure I wanted that much detail in a public forum, especially since Rachel and Sarah are so high-functioning they'll probably end up reading this blog within the next few years. And I've run out of time for anything else.

So, here I am with no idea what to post to my blog except the above ramblings. I guess I'll do an update.

Worked with Rachel yesterday catching her up in Saxon K. Because of the birth, I missed all of December and there's no way to catch her up in her meeting book before January. That's okay. I'll just keep doing the lessons in sequence because we're at the really crucial lessons now. Up to this point it's been mostly counting and shapes; yesterday we started learning about numbers and today we begin to associate numbers with amounts (as shown through pennies). I'm going to need to go slow for those lessons because I really want to make sure Rachel gets the concept. Plus, she's getting frustrated with herself. And when she gets frustrated she get starts giggling or sits there smiling at nothing in particular. I learned this is how she shows frustration when she burst into tears at the end of one of those giggle fits, saying she couldn't do it.

Point is when she gets frustrated, I get frustrated because she isn't even trying anymore and the whole thing falls apart. Better just to take things slower.

Haven't worked much in a formal sense with Sarah. I've been trying to get Rachel back on track first since she's the one I'm working the most with and the one who's most behind in her skills. Besides, Sarah has been learning a lot about the rules of interaction through her sisters, especially Becky. It's because of Becky that Sarah's beginning to relax when people don't do exactly what she wants. It's still a weakness of hers but she's starting to let things go when they don't go her way.*

So, that's where we are right now. Looking forward to seeing where the girls are at the end of 2009. :)

*It's not like she's being willful. I want to make it clear that she gets very rigid about how people act because she clings to structure as a way of feeling secure. Take away the structure and you take away her security in a very deep and real sense: it really freaks her out. In the past this has extended even to little things like when certain songs are sung. Apparently she's been feeling more secure because we've been able to reason with her more and more often regarding things she wants.

Vacation is over

Christmas was nice this year. We got a wonderful present for the whole family (our baby) and everyone had enough presents and food to satisfy but not enough to make people sick. :) I think the key to my happiness this year was chanting "Christmas is like any other day," over and over until I really didn't care if things were perfect or not. More on that on my other blog.

As for therapy, I'm starting it up again with Rachel and Sarah. I've already started work again on pronunciation with Rachel. She's doing really well with the "ng" sound. We had used popsicle (sp?) sticks to help her get her tongue in the right position. It's actually pretty neat... you put the stick on the tip of your tongue and push down and a little back. That little nudge puts the back of the tongue against the back of the mouth, closing it off. Between that and putting her awareness into her nose (I would pinch my nose to show her how the sound needed to only come through her nose) she started to get the hang of it.

My point with this long ramble is that when I did some therapy with her Friday, she didn't need to use the stick at all. She did the sound all by herself.

Yeah!!!

After she proves proficient in creating the isolated sound, we're on to syllables and then words. And then it will be integrated in her "regular" therapy, which right now includes using future tense.

As for Sarah, I've found a really neat RPG that I hope will help her with decisions. It could also make her dependent on rolling dice to make decisions and if it does that we'll stop the game. Anyway, it's called Shadows. Sarah's weakness is narrative. She tends to make lists instead of describing actions. My hope is that this game will help her create scenarios and especially help with "what if" questions and speculation. I'm also going to be stressing experiments more this year in school to create more "what if" opportunities. We will also continue our current "what if" generator: stories/books/movies.

Interaction is still a major weakness, though the girls have gotten a lot better at it over the past year. At the beginning of the year, I wouldn't have even tried an RPG in therapy because of the lack of interaction. And I'm no longer worried about major fits if I take them outside (though I do worry about the lack of privacy since we live on a very busy road just off the highway and a person can easily see through our fence... when I have no energy to keep an eye on the world outside that fence, the kids don't get to play outside... must move...). Oh, and they are doing very, very well in our church's children's group (Primary). They have been joining in the group activities and their teachers don't have to keep as close an eye on them as they did in the past.

I mean, if we're considering taking off the locks and putting a simple chime/alarm in place, that says a lot.

Gosh, I'm tempted to do a "year in review" but I'm not sure if I'll have the time. Therapy has been integrated quite a bit into our life because of the baby; however, it's still time consuming. We'll see. Actually writing down some of the progress makes me really, really want to just lay it all out though.

We'll see.

New Baby

Yup. We have a new little one in our house. If I haven't already contacted you, please email me for details. My life is more than a little chaotic at the moment... I don't mean to be rude.

Thank goodness for my priority list. I would be very overwhelmed right now if it weren't for that. That and routines. Priorities and routines. Very good things. :)

Posts will be rare for the next month. Rachel is sick right now (can you tell we ran out of echinacea and didn't resupply?) and Sarah is recovering from a nasty fever, so chances are good therapy won't happen this week, not to mention we're still getting used to having a newborn in the house again. However, this bout with severe illness has been a surprising mark of progress. Sarah's ability to reason and listen to reason (like when she tried to argue her way out of taking any medicine) has improved dramatically: she bargains now regarding how much she has to take. We've used bargaining in other situations, but she's never been willing to bargain when it comes to any sort of medicine... even the ones that taste like candy. Now, we were able to get her to take some of the medicine willingly (we hid what was left in juice... I know... we're sneaky).

Rachel, during this illness, has been using her words in spite of her lethargy. And her improved pronunciation has paid off this time around in that she's able to speak pretty clearly, even when she's completely exhausted. Not everything comes out clear, but we can hear she's doing much better than even a month ago.

What's really creepy about this illness is we aren't the first to get it this time around. There were people at Rob's job who had come down with this and several of our friends who have been fighting it off for a few weeks now. It's a nasty bug that seems to linger forever and I'm surprised it took as long as it did to come to our house. I had been hoping we would miss it entirely.

On a side note, all this work we've done with Rachel and Sarah has come in pretty handy recently... a close relative of mine was involved in a four-wheeler accident and cracked his skull (idiot didn't wear a helmet). As I've been talking to yet another relative about his condition, his progress, his recovery, etc. I find myself returning again and again to things I've learned working with Rachel and Sarah. For example, I was really happy when I found out that friends and relatives have been playing games with The Idiot Who Didn't Wear a Helmet. They were doing it to help him get his mind off his current predicament, but I learned several years ago that games are the best way to help the brain develop new pathways and heal. The person who was telling me this also knows how helpful games are so it's nice to have that level field as well. With the new baby, I haven't been able to visit The Idiot. I'm not too happy about that. But I can do Google searches here at home and relay what I find if it's useful. And thanks to my past experience with this, I have a better idea of what's useful and what isn't.

Anyway, enough rambling. Baby needs me and I still have to get the kitchen cleaned up from breakfast. Then, I rest. Lots of resting this week.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Don't have much time, but I just wanted to give a quick update.

I'm still working through The Explosive Child. My goal is to have it done by the end of the weekend so I can give it a review. So far it seems to be pretty good. It definitely fits Sarah and has given me new insights into her behavior and what seems to be wrong. More later.

One of the girls, for the first time, took a shower instead of a bath. This is huge. The shower has terrified both of them and I thought for sure they would never want to take a shower, ever. This is a terrific milestone and I'm absolutely thrilled.

Rachel's speech is improving every day. She's using phrases with more intention than before, though lately she's been stuck on her birthday and the associated party. It's driving my husband and I a little nuts. Hopefully, by making it part of the advent calendar, we'll help give her a better sense of time regarding the event.

Sarah has been very helpful and her willingness to interact has increased. We're having some problems with the nature of that interaction at times because Sarah has a tendency to act first, talk later (and I get the feeling that's a personality trait and not part of the autism). However, I think that's something that will improve with time as well.

Finally, my baby is due this weekend, so please don't be surprised if I disappear for a few weeks. I'll update my other blog because homemaking doesn't stop, even for a baby, but my work with Rachel and Sarah will be temporarily suspended. I will probably start blogging again about mid-December at the earliest, more than likely it will be close to or right after Christmas.

Until then, have a wonderful Thanksgiving and a Merry Christmas (just in case)! :)

Where I have been

Busy, busy, busy.

We have a baby coming.

Rachel and Sarah had quarterly evaluations and that took up more time than I thought (we do them at home with a digital recorder and a number of forms). In case anyone is wondering, they're doing very well. I've been able to zero in on some problem areas that wouldn't have appeared before if I had been doing this on a more informal basis. We're also at the point in our progress where we can reason with Sarah most of the time. And we're learning better how to help her during the times when she's unreasonable. Rachel's speech has improved and she's becoming more involved and engaged than even a few months ago.

Progress is good. :)

We had a bit of illness come through over the weekend, but because of the herbs and trying to focus on health, it didn't hit us nearly as hard as it could have hit us. We had three girls actually come down with it, but the rest of us are still upright and doing okay (crosses fingers).

But the biggest thing after Rachel and Sarah has been preparing for this baby and taking care of my health before the Big Day. If you want a little more info on that, feel free to visit my other blog, Homemaking Cents where I also discuss a change in my church's policy that I wasn't aware of until recently.

Something to celebrate

So, we've been working with Rachel on her speech, both structure and pronunciation. Yesterday, I realized in doing her pronunciation work that she has moved from one level (isolated sound) to another (syllables with sound).

This is only one sound ("K") and there are many, many more we'll be working on in the future, but still it shows progress.

As a side note, she has been asking "why" a LOT more often than before. Usually it appears when she's asked me to do something and I either say, "No," or "In a minute." And she stays and listens to the answers. :)

Goal for this week: work on eye contact. It will really help her pronunciation.

Is the illness over?

So, yesterday we got our order from LifeBalm: two Kid-e-Mins, one Kid-e-Mune, one bottle of echinacea extract for Rob and I (just in case) and one bottle of Dr. Christopher's lower bowel formula (again for Rob and I).

As soon as we got the package, I broke out some orange juice I'd been waiting to pass out once the tummies were all settled (it seemed like they never were) and we gave the kids appropriate doses hidden inside, with the youngest getting theirs first.

Our firstborn son, the one we've had the most trouble with lately, laid down on the couch for the rest of the evening and didn't move unless he had to. Our youngest boy fell asleep early. The girls all stayed awake but were much more quiet than usual. Meanwhile, I kept waiting for someone to throw everything up.

This morning was the first morning we've had in a week where no one threw up. There are no sniffles now and our boys are (as of this writing) back at full YEAH strength. Now, it has happened before that the kids seemed to be all right and they weren't, but for the past month or two there has always been someone with the sniffles or a low-grade fever, even when they seemed to be okay in all other respects. For there to be no sniffles whatsoever in our house is, in my opinion, a miracle. I hope it lasts. :)

So, we're back to school and the full schedule of before.

The Explosive Child

I got this from the library the other day. I'd been looking for something to help with Sarah's meltdowns. She doesn't have them as often, but I was wondering if there was something the SR program didn't cover that maybe this book might help address. Or maybe some insight that will make it easier to do what I already need to do.

I'm thinking it will because already in the first chapter they've described Sarah's outbursts and anxiety. Rachel has come a long way from her rigidity but Sarah still has a deep need for security in structure that has very little to do with schedules as we define them. It's more a matter of sequence and order. For example, we still cannot sing a church song called I Am a Child of God without first singing Sing from Sesame Street and following it with another church song Families Can Be Together Forever. When she was two, that was the sequence I used to use to get her used to the songs from our church. My original plan was to switch out songs so she would have a wide variety of songs she had heard. Instead, we have a sequence that, six years later, cannot be altered without a meltdown.

So, we'll see what this book has to say about all this. I'll post a review as soon as I finish it. Considering it's a library book, that means sometime within the next three weeks. :)

Too close to reality

I laughed so hard when I read this. This is what my day is like, and it's nice to know that someone else has the same experience.

From Heavenly Homemakers: Hellooooo! Is ANYBODY Listening?!

A new blog and more herbs

Okay, I don't have my initial blog idea up and running yet. But I do have the secondary one going. It's focus is on frugality and is called Homemaking Cents. I'm working on the layout bit by bit as time goes on. It's not a blog I want to spend a whole lot of time on, but it does give me a chance to talk about some things that I don't think will fit on the other blog.

Good gosh, now I have two active blogs. Will I be able to post on them as often as I like? We shall see.

As for the kids, Rachel and Sarah (along with most of their brothers and sisters) have been dealing with the stomach flu. It turns out, there's a lot of people we know here that can't seem to shake this thing, whether it appears as strep throat, a stomach virus, a bronchial infection or just a common cold. One member of our church has been fighting this for several weeks.

So, we decided we've had enough and are going to bump this up a notch. We'd been putting off getting our cold and flu herbs for various reasons, mostly because every other bug we've been able to battle off using food alone (not to mention the intense cleaning this house has gotten). This one seems to be pretty stout so we've gotten some of Dr. Christopher's herbal remedies that we discovered knock this thing back, but that we're very low on. Hopefully they'll arrive during the weekend and we'll finally get over this illness and back to work.

So, yeah, because we've been sick, we have done next to nothing in the way of school or therapy. Oh, well. I've always said one of the beauties of homeschooling is schedule flexibility.

(On a completely unrelated topic, we ended up giving the dog to our city's animal shelter. That has helped my husband more than either of us realized it would... within minutes actually and within an hour almost all of his symptoms were gone. Most of what he's been fighting off, it turns out, has been his allergies to the dog. Sad, but true.)

Goodbye pooch?

Bad news. We found out my husband is allergic to our dog. And we can't have him outside for reasons that I don't think I should mention. Suffice it to say, we have an indoor dog or none.

Which leaves the option... none. So, we're looking for a home for our dog. If you happen to know of anyone who wants one, please let us know and soon. There's a deadline looming on this. For sure, he's got to be out of the house within the month... that's how long my husband thinks he can take it. Personally, for the sake of my husband's health, I want Buddy gone within a week.

So, any takers?

Potty training

Toast on the Ceiling posted about potty training, and as I read about her struggles, I remembered my own with my kids. So, I've decided today to blog about those times.

Warning: get some healthy snack before reading... this is going to take a while.

Rachel wasn't potty trained until she was four, and then it was very much a literal hit or miss. We started potty training simply because I was getting tired of changing three sets of diapers. Cloth diapers at that. So, I got a book that seemed to be in line with our philosophy regarding training our kids and got Rachel a small potty that could be moved around the house. She was three at the time.

I had several concerns right from the start. First, Rachel at the time had a fascination with smearing poop on the walls. In fact, one of the beauties of cloth diapers was that she couldn't take off her diaper whenever she pooped so that she could cover the wall with it. And when I say cover, I'm not talking about a couple of streaks on the wall. I mean cover. Kids work surprisingly fast when they decide on a course of action and by the time I got to her, I rarely found anything smaller than a 2 foot square area that had to be cleaned off. One part of the wall had a definite smell, she had covered it so often. I think we finally managed to get rid of the smell by using something with orange oil in it. Not sure on that because I was only starting to phase out the chemicals we used for cleaning.

Second, communication was almost impossible at this point. She had some basic comprehension and could obey very simple one-step commands but we still struggled with the idea of a series of steps that had to be accomplished in a certain order.

And finally, there was, as always, my time or the lack thereof. I had two younger children to take care of, one of whom was starting to show signs of speech delay as well (Sarah). This was on top of what felt at the time like an enormous amount of work trying to keep the house together, meals on the table, and research into decent avenues for therapy now that Rachel no longer qualified for ECI (early childhood intervention).

It took several months just to get to the point where I was able to slide the potty under her just as she was peeing. I went over the top with my enthusiasm and I to this day remember the look Rachel gave me: You mean that's what you've been wanting me to do? After this, it took a few more months for her to use it on a somewhat consistent basis. Even then, she preferred (I discovered... don't ask how) using toy boxes and organizing bins.

We switched to mesh bags for holding toys, kept any other boxes out of reach, and made sure we cleaned up any and all accidents. Looking back, that was the most difficult period I think we've ever gone through with our kids.

By this time, Rachel was four. I took an honest look at her development and realized that it would probably be several years before she would have the muscle control necessary to hold it all through the night. That helped me be patient as we cleaned up mattresses, and eventually put a plastic cover on the bed though I still felt frustrated at times that there was one more item that she was behind on.

Rachel is now almost ten, and we still have a plastic sheet on her bed, though I haven't had to clean up any accidents for a while now. We still have struggles with her and using the potty on occasion, but nothing like before.

Sarah was similar in many ways to Rachel, though she never had the fascination with poop that Rachel did. She also loves being clean so once she figured out what she needed to do she did it pretty consistently. Like Rachel, though, she had trouble wetting the bed at night.

By this point, I was so sick of potty training that I dreaded training the next child, though I knew it would be easier because Becky is not normal in her speech either: she is a genius when it comes to articulating her thoughts. But I didn't have to do anything. She watched her sisters and figured it out on her own. The next thing I know she's telling me she's not going to use diapers anymore. And she didn't.

She also took training the next child out of my hands by showing her as well when she saw I had started the process. I've had to do next to nothing in the way of potty training since beyond buying underwear and pull-ups for nighttime.

Rachel's letters

We found out over the past few days that Rachel has been using the newspaper to practice copying letters. She has no idea why they're important, at least from what we can figure out, but she knows Becky and Sarah write letters and it's something they practice a lot. She doesn't want to be left out, I guess. What's neat is that we now have all these disaster-related words in her handwriting. /sarcasm.

Okay, it's not that bad. But it is incentive to work even harder with her speech/comprehension so that we can start teaching her how to read. She's still not quite there but she's getting closer each day.

School begins!

Today is our first day of school. I cannot begin to tell y'all how nice this change of focus is for all the kids and me. I won't do this every day, but just to give you a glimpse of how things have changed, I'll give a quick run down of my day so far:

• Did the morning chores, including feeding and walking the dog.
• Mowed one fifth of the lawn.
• Took care of various sundries around the house.
• Made sure Rachel and Sarah did their Morning Routine (this is part of their IEPs).
  
• Read "Where the Wild Things Are" (language arts and social skills).
• Printed out the math and language arts worksheets for the day (Sarah and Becky's language arts is a journal entry and will be done in the late afternoon).
• Started cooking lunch.
• Had Sarah and Becky's math lesson while lunch cooked, modified from the way Saxon does their lessons.

This afternoon I'm going to do a little bit of academics with Rachel and the next daughter in line for school (let's call her Deb for the sake of my fingers) which means some work on the alphabet and really basic math, then a little speech therapy followed by the Afternoon Routine and some finger knitting (fine motor skills).

In the past, I would have been very upset by this point because we would probably still be having math right now. Why? Because I would be "having school". I'm learning that the most important thing I can teach these kids is how everything they're learning in school applies to the rest of the world. Now, not every curriculum is going to be like that and I really don't think it should be like that. For example, math is always going to have a linear chronology and this is very good for that particular subject. Saxon also does a great job of building incrementally and uses a lot of manipulatives (the majority of which are found around the home) that build a really great foundation for the more abstract ideas later. But that doesn't mean I have to use the intense amount of drill all the time that Saxon uses or that I have to devote one and a half hours (which was our average last year) when I can break it up into smaller portions throughout the day.

And that's math... the other subjects are even easier to integrate into the day, either by reading to the kids for a few minutes at a time, or using every day objects/events to the teach the concept. Because of this, I feel less rushed and when I feel less rushed the kids get more involved and interested. As you can see from the list earlier, we read Sendak's classic book. Because I wasn't feeling rushed, each of the kids got a chance to hear the story and then look at the book themselves while I worked on other things. Becky read it to Deb, and Sarah read it to herself.

And later in the day, when we do our language arts lesson, writing in their journals are going to not only fill the language arts requirement but also social skills and get Sarah used to the idea of going back over the events of the day... strengthening the concept of The Past (time is a very difficult concept for kids in the spectrum to understand).

Lastly, I'm very glad this is how things are working out for therapy. Integrating their therapy into the rest of the day with a brief "session" is working out much, much, much better than I had ever hoped. We're doing therapy more often and we're accomplishing more.

I'm hoping the rest of the school year goes just as happily as today has so far.

(I've edited this to take out some stuff about a person who would probably rather remain anonymous.)

Good sale on Dr. Christopher stuff

All of Dr. Christopher's formulas are on sale right now at Life Balm... 45%. We're stocking up on the kid stuff and possibly some cayenne tincture. We'll see.

These formulas and Dr. Christopher's general view toward health have really helped my family quite a bit. In fact, I think Rachel and Sarah wouldn't have made nearly the progress they have if it weren't for the information from Dr. Christopher regarding the importance of living foods, even from grain.

Anyway, just thought I'd pass along the info to friends and family. That kind of discount is a great reason to try the stuff out.

Freecycle and a new blog?

This is kind of about Rachel and Sarah's journey and kind of not. This ties into the goals I was discussing back in June.

I've been thinking a lot about setting up another blog, one that I'm going to try to use to generate money. Not sure if it will work but hey, it's worth a try, right? I've looked over Crystal Paine's series (there's more than one in that previous link but I'm sure y'all will be able to find it) at Money Saving Mom and I've read a really good article at Frugal Hacks about finding your niche... I think I've figured out mine. Not telling anyone until I'm ready to set it up, though.

In fact, the more I think about it, the more I think I should set up two with two separate niches (one more money oriented than the other). Not sure though. One may be all I can handle.

Of course, the reason I'm thinking about all this is because I've been looking over our future needs as a family. I don't feel right asking Rob to do any more than he already is. He works very, very hard for this family and if blogging an hour or two three times a week helps him out I'm more than willing to do it... because those of you who know me know how much I hate writing. ;)

Oh, and I also want to spread the word about Freecycle. I've used it this past weekend to get rid of stuff as well as get some stuff and they've really thought through the rules for this idea. I like it. A lot. Check it out.

got the curriculum

Well, another school year is almost upon us. I'm phasing in school gradually so that we don't have a sudden change in schedule. I'm using the leftover math lessons (i.e. the ones we didn't get to finish because of various reasons... there aren't that many so it's a good review) and the science reader. I'm also going to start reading aloud at least once a day since the kids seem to really like that (visiting the library is about to become an every other week possibly even weekly event).

Rachel's focus this fall semester in her IEP is going to be on social and domestic skills for several reasons, a few of which I'll describe here. On domestics, first, no matter what else she does in life or how far she progresses, she will always have a body and a room to take care of. If she gets into a routine now, her life will be much easier. Second, this gives me opportunities to do informal speech therapy as well as work on social skills, though that will be focused on more intensely during the weekly playroom sessions we're going to have during the weekend. And third, the more she knows about cooking, cleaning and basic home care, the more likely she'll lead an independent life. And the more independence I can give her, the happier I'll be as well as the community at large.

As for social skills, that's pretty obvious. Right now, she's going through a phase where she talks back and puts her foot down, but I can't really get angry or worried about it. The only thing that worries me is that she'll completely refuse to work with me on any of this. But if nothing else there's always food as a motivator (she absolutely loves snacks) so if worse comes to worse we'll end up using ABA techniques to teach her what she needs to know.

I don't want to do that. I mean I really don't. I want her to be motivated to do this for the sake of doing it. But maybe that's too much to ask.

Anyway, as for Sarah, her IEP is pretty much the same except with a greater focus on academics. She's in Saxon Math 2 this year, and I'm introducing a real language arts course since she's doing so well reading and has started writing her own stories and letters. Add in a civics course I purchased (I Love America, pt. 1) and we've completely covered, with lovely materials, the entire required course load the state of Texas demands (math, reading, spelling, and good citizenship).

And just in case any of you are wondering, Rachel's covers all that as well, but at a preschool/kingergarten level. Social skills encompass character and character is the basis of good citizenship. Not only that, but I'll be involving her in the I Love America course where appropriate. We will go over the alphabet (spelling) as well as phonics (reading) and I'll be using the Saxon Math K curriculum for math. According to the book put out by NATTHAN, Christian Homes and Special Kids, she's not at a point where she's ready to learn to read, so our formal reading curriculum is going to have to wait.

Add in a really nice science curriculum (we're using Christian Liberty Nature Reader, books 1 and 2 as well as Sharing Nature with Children by Joseph Cornell), a fall garden for the more hands on stuff, a health curriculum especially designed for kids with autism (Taking Care of Myself by Mary Wrobel which covers basic care all the way up through puberty), singing and piano for music and assorted art supplies for arts and crafts and the therapy stuff already mentioned in previous posts and I think we'll have a very busy school year on our hands.

I'm so glad I've been getting back into FLYing. :)

a scripture discussion last night

Every night we read a little from the scriptures. Because we're Mormon, we have four canonical works, but the ones we focus on mostly with our kids are the Bible and the Book of Mormon. For the Bible, I use simple readers for now but I've found that with the Book of Mormon it's best to just read the scripture itself and explain the passages as best I can.

Last night, while I was talking about a guy named Ammon (a missionary) and the servants of the king Ammon has chosen to serve and how they had to protect the king's flocks from some bad men who wanted to scatter them, Sarah asked a question.

First off, it's the first time she's asked a question during scripture reading... at least, as far as I can remember.

Second, it was a "why" question. "Why did the bad men want to scatter the flocks?"

After I got over my brief moment of shock that Sarah was asking a question, let alone a question regarding motivation, I gave her the best answer I could think of ("I think they wanted to steal them. Let's keep reading and find out."). I'm just thrilled. Between this and the "what if" question the other day, I'm really excited to see what happens next.

I'm definitely putting that Floortime book on my list of things to get for the school year.

Another breakthrough

Sarah and I have been working on "what if" questions for the past month or two. I ask her a question, sometimes answer it myself, sometimes prompt her to answer it.

For the first time yesterday, she asked me "What if we didn't eat dinner?"

No prompting, and she was actually interested in the answer. :) Her first "what if" question. Too awesome.

colds

So, we've all been taking turns being sick for the past week. Today is my turn it seems, though as any mother knows, being a mommy means you aren't sick. At least, you can't be sick if you want the house to stay halfway organized instead of looking like a hungry pack of little monsters ravaged through your house with nothing more than hungry stomachs and an intense need to color walls.

Thank goodness for garlic and my husband's homemade Supertonic (and thanks to Dr. Schulze for giving us such an awesome formula in the first place).

Almost time for school to start

That's right. Summer's just about over. I know it's over when I see the lists of supplies at my local Wal-Mart for each school district.

That's one of the nice things about homeschooling: you don't have to buy all your supplies at once. It's nice (and can really save a chick some money), but next to impossible to gauge how much coloring, cutting, etc. you'll be doing during the year. So, the biggest outlay for our family each school year is resources, like textbooks, readers, and curriculi. I've purchased the basics and now I just have to get the house decluttered enough to move out last year's texts (the ones that won't carry over) so there will be room for this year's.

Part of me groans because I haven't finished my sewing projects yet, and my mostly-completed novel is still waiting for an ending. I think I have time, though. Maybe.

Mad Libs the card game

I bought Mad Libs, the card game version, a long time ago as a possible "date night" idea for my husband and I. (You know, the kind of "date" where you put the kids to bed early and just talk or goof off for an hour or two before you finally crash from exhaustion.)

Well, in our church we have a family event that occurs (mostly) every Monday night called Family Home Evening. When the kids were younger, I planned most of the activities and often that meant coloring something. Now that the kids are older we've been using games more often, so our activities have been more like a game night kind of thing. The favorite -- and easiest to set up, play, regulate, and dismantle -- is a memory/matching game that, unlike the trademarked game put out by a popular manufacturer, uses photographs. But there's only so many times we can play that game before the kids and the parents want something more. So, we tried Mad Libs last Monday night.

Since most of our kids are either early readers or don't read at all, the large words in the deck were a little intimidating. However, our two readers (Sarah and Becky) loved the challenge, and the others thought the cards were very pretty and loved to just hold them.

About that, the cards are color-coded so that grammar can easily become a matter of finding the right color pattern. Blue noun cards are preceded by orange adjective cards and green verb cards come after the blue cards unless you're asking a question, etc., etc., etc. I can easily see this turning into a great way to have fun with grammar this school year. However, "true" play will be next to impossible until the kids are older and/or acquire longer attention spans. Last night, for the sake of speed, we allowed trading so that people with five nouns could get a verb or two instead of taking several rounds to get the card they needed.

Point? It's a fun game and I highly recommend it, especially if you have older kids (7 and up) who already have a decent grasp of grammar basics.

Where we are now

This past weekend, my husband watched a BBC DVD the Autism Treatment Center puts out called "I Want My Little Boy Back" and he was struck my how much things have changed. When we first got involved with the SR program two years ago, Rachel and Sarah threw fits much like the boy in the documentary. Just like the boy, it was impossible to take them anywhere because of the meltdowns that would inevitably occur.

Now?

They still have meltdowns on occasion, though for the past few months they've been more like true tantrums. We can take all the kids to friend's houses, the library, church, and the store (haven't tried the mall yet and we've only had them in the children's portion of our service... we're going to be working on the actual all-ages service next week). And the best part is that when Sarah gets upset, she tells you. She uses words to describe what she's feeling and, most of the time, why. Rachel has become better at using words as well but mostly she's just calmed down a lot.

Now, we haven't been perfect in our application, especially when it comes to calming down during meltdowns. And maybe this is just our girls growing up. Still, I'm happy with the progress.

And I don't think I would have seen the difference so clearly if my husband hadn't taken the time yesterday to watch that DVD, and then taken the time afterward to remind me of the differences.

So, my point is that I'm very grateful for my girls and my husband. :)

A bit about blogging for fun and profit

There's a really great series going on right now at Money Saving Mom about blogging. I'm considering blogging as a possible way to bring in some money. It won't be much. Money, I mean. But it would be nice to bring in some extra.

The beauty of this series is that Mrs. Paine makes it clear that you can't just set up a blog and expect money in a few days. It takes time to link, advertise, spread the word, not to mention that the blog has to have some actual content. ;) I thought about making more of this blog but decided against it. I want to keep this one free of ads and other nonsense as long as I can. It feels better that way.

One of the reasons I've decided on blogging is because, after spending some time looking around on the Internet, I feel there should be more blogs dealing specifically with the problems of raising a large family on a single income, especially someone like me in the suburban Sunbelt. Techniques that work great for smaller families don't work so well, sometimes not at all, for larger families, like clipping coupons, for example. I rarely, if ever, use coupons because the amounts we buy would force me to create several transactions in order to take advantage of coupon savings. I've found it works better if we buy in bulk, buy from non-traditional sources, and make just about everything (including deodorant) at home (I'm even considering making our own laundry soap though I'm not sure if we'll see any savings). I know there are blogs out there about that, but I think the problems unique to living in Texas -- where homemade bread isn't an option in the summer if you want to save on your electricity bill -- and raising a large family might be something people would like to read.

Also, I think I can spend a half hour three times a week on it. Yeah, I think that's doable.

So, what do y'all think?

On a side note: dog food

So, we have a dog now (I think I mentioned this) and we weren't sure for a while there if we were going to keep him. That has recently changed. Why?

Dog food.

I kid you not. We originally had him on Purina Puppy Chow and he was one hyperactive, crazy little pup. Now that he's not so little anymore, we got worried. Well, I took a good look at the ingredients, compared brands, got Iams Puppy Chow instead and he's a completely different dog. I kid you not. The first time we fed him the new kibble, he wolfed down twice what he usually does, then he slept a good portion of the day, and now he's incredibly alert and calm. Rachel and Sarah feel comfortable enough around him to walk around and even try petting him. This morning, Rachel even sat down on the floor and let the pup lick her face! :)

I'm not pushing Iams by the way. The point is that the previous brand had sugar, preservatives, and next to no meat-oriented stuff in it. We've since learned that dogs do best on a carnivore diet and the brand we got is one of many that list meat as the first ingredient. Point: any dog food that has meat (chicken, beef, lamb, etc.) not meat by-products as the first or second ingredient is a good choice. And the less sugar the better. It seems our dog, just like our kids, gets too hyperactive off the stuff.

Curriculum

Well, I've finished with the curriculum/IEPs for my kids: lots of life skills stuff, not as much academic right now. We'll see where we are in December.

I'm a bit torn right now. Half of my books are going to come directly from the publisher, but another half can be found much, MUCH cheaper on a particular homeschool discount site.

Here's the problem: when people order things through a discount site (like Amazon), the authors/publishers take a pretty stiff hit in their paycheck (they may see 10-20% of the book price at most). For larger publishers, this really isn't that big a deal. But for small publishers who know they aren't going to see a lot of sales in the first place, this becomes a terrible business model. Unfortunately, a lot of homeschool books fall into the small publisher category. Since I know people in the writing industry, and I know a bit of how publishing works and what's involved, I don't like seeing authors lose their ability to support themselves in a system that should be able to support them. Already it's clear that a writer can't really support him/herself without becoming huge and those involved in small presses have an even worse time because of all the money/time spent promoting the product.

On the other hand, I have a budget. And the amount I spend needs to be as small as possible.

I'm pretty sure I already know what I'm going to do, but any and all comments would be appreciated.

Horsies

So, a friend of ours asked if he could bring his horse by so our kids could get all teary-eyed when it was time for the horse to leave. :) All the kids had a great time and Rachel and Sarah adored riding.

We're definitely doing the equine therapy now.

Michael Savage and Autism

Too much has been said about this. I mean, come on, this is Michael Savage Savage Nation Have You Read My Book You Red Diapah Dopah Baby You Don'wanna Talk About It You Don't Want Me to Talk About It Okay I'll Talk About It (thanks to my husband who came up with this fantastic string of words based on the few times he listened to Savage's show back in the early aughties... it's really neat how the whole thing morphed and grew and is definitely a story for another time).

I've gotta admit he's a trip to hear. He's the ultimate polemicist, better by far than anyone on the Left or the Right mostly because he doesn't subscribe to either. He's about as offensive as Howard Stern and, in my opinion, makes better points on many issues. So, his recent comments about autism are great publicity. I can't stand them, but they're great publicity... and I'm not going to put them on my blog because I just can't stand seeing the "it's the parents' fault" nonsense more than once or twice.

Do I believe his explanation? Well, it fits with other stuff I've heard him say, but if that were the case, he should have been ranting against the pharmaceuticals, not the parents.

But then, this is Michael Savage we're talking about... and, of course, ratings.

sounds and pics

Right now in speech therapy we're working on getting Rachel to follow a daily routine, i.e. chores and basic self-care. I'm seriously considering writing out routines for a couple of processes Rachel struggles with since the morning routine seems to be working out pretty well so far. However, one of the side-effects of this is that Sarah, who already pretty much follows a routine, got even more into the morning routine than she had been before. So, now I get to deal with her desperate need for structure when she can't find the hairbrush in the morning. Thank goodness she's at the point where I can offer her an alternate brush (and thank goodness we aren't in an environment/situation where sharing brushes would bring on lice... I still don't like it though).

And yes, I admit it's very nice that Sarah has been wanting to get her chores done. :)

We started Rachel on sounds today with the sound "m". She does well overall until she has to hold the sound for any length of time. Then, she tends to substitute by placing her lower lip on her upper teeth. Not sure if it's because of weakness in her lips or the vibration getting to her or both. I'll be consulting my sensory integration stuff this week for ideas.

Sarah's big thing this week is "what if" questions. I'm really glad she's at this point because once she gets to the point where she can consistently predict (or at least make an educated guess) about consequences so much more will open up in the way of possibilities in her education and in life.

I've decided to look over the developmental model for Son-Rise and see if I can't incorporate that with Floortime since the two are so similar. I mention Floortime because one of the women in a group I used to belong to mentioned that Floortime has a more integrated approach to its therapy (i.e. you use the approach in the real world as well as the playroom). So, between herbal formulas/supplements for the family and research for Rachel and Sarah, it looks like I'm going shopping.

Oh, and I hope to review that music therapy program I ordered later on in the week.

And finally, I have the name of a doctor who will respect a parent's wishes regarding vaccinations. A real-live medical doctor. I'm still in a mild state of shock. We might be able to do the equine therapy after all. If time permits. :P

Here are the pics I promised of Rachel's drawing progress.

Okay, so here's a drawing from when Rachel started school in 2007. It was her third year doing a preschool/kindergarten program and she showed very little interest in anything academic. I was just glad she was starting to draw people instead of things or abstract shapes.

This second drawing is from when Rachel started the second half of the school year. As you can see, a sense of proportion is starting to creep in. Because she used pencil for this, you can't tell, but around this time she also started experimenting with multiple colors (never more than four) in her drawings instead of the monochrome I was used to seeing from her.

And this is one she did recently. I'm so amazed and proud of my girl. :) She's come a long way. Both of them have.

Federal Chelation Study?

We looked into chelation years ago. My husband and I both didn't feel right about it for several reasons, some of them specific to us, and some of them concerns about the treatment in general. Instead, we decided to pursue an herbally based program with a heavy focus on nutrition and proper preparation of foods (soaked grains, etc.) combined with interaction/play-based therapy.

That said, I've never felt parents who opt for chelation are making a bad choice. It's not one I would make, but that has no bearing on another parent's choice. Different kids and all that.

So, why do I feel squeamish about a possible federally funded study of chelation as it relates to autism treatment? Oh there are so many, many reasons.

Here are a few of my concerns.

1. From my perspective, everything the federal government touches suffers. There are some things you want the feds involved in, but let's face it, the fewer entities the government takes over, the better the country runs. Getting the feds involved should always be a last ditch, no-better-way-out solution. I would much rather see universities research chelation, especially those with top-notch medical schools. Unlike tearing apart the synergistic nature of herbs, studying the effects of chelation should be perfect for researchers: a simple, straightforward process that already has D.O.'s who keep good records as a matter of course.
2. Is the federal government as objective as some would like to think? A federal study is huge in its effect. Corporate influence is there at the university level as well but no university has the impact of a federal study (from what I remember anyway... it's been a long time since I had any respect for any study). What kind of corporate/PAC/lobby influence will we see in the chelation study?
3. This is more about autism in general. I've seen too many studies fall into too many traps for many reasons that are endemic to researchers of many different fields. These include both studies that told me what I wanted to hear and those that didn't. The idea that mercury causes autism, though worthy of study, might also easily obscure other related theories that are just as valid: three off the top of my head include the idea that it's all the preservatives combined, there's a genetic predisposition toward side-effects/autism spectrum, and the vaccines weaken the immune system from the start.
4. But I think this final one is the one that worries me the most: what if they find that chelation works? Now, if the studies are accurate, this would be all well and good... in fact it would be wonderful for parents. Just like vaccines were considered wonderful... for most kids. The problem was not that vaccines were good or bad. The problem is that the government decided everyone had to have them. My concern is that this study might be used to encourage parents to get a therapy that isn't right for them, that (just like public schooling and vaccines) parents who decide not to get the therapy will run the risk of harrassment at best. I don't even want to think about the worst.

I know, I know, I'm being paranoid about all this. Maybe. I've seen too much garbage, heard too many horror stories, and don't even get me started on what Texas did to the FLDS kids. Then again, I'm a mom and moms worry.

A few things I forgot to mention

Horse therapy won't happen. First, it's the summer and way too hot. Second, the waiting list is incredibly long (I know, I know, that's weak). Third, we need a reference from a medical doctor and we've been having a hard time finding a medical doctor since most are gung-ho about vaccinations (can you tell we aren't?). A lot of the parents I know (mostly online) either go with DAN! doctors (we don't want to do that protocol) or D.O.'s. I don't mind a D.O. but I really don't want to do chelation and I'm worried a D.O. would press for that. Plus, I'm not sure a D.O. would count (I might call back and ask). I have a possible lead on what sounds like a medical doctor that I haven't followed up on yet (bad cavamil) so maybe that last problem will change. And finally, fourth, and this is a big one, we don't have the ability to get the girls down there for therapy at the times we would need to apply for in order to speed up the process. I'm not even sure we could get the girls down there at all since we currently have outgrown our van. So, for right now, no horse therapy.

Too bad (and I don't mean that in a flippant way), but there are always other options. Anyway, here's an article about the place: Pony Sparks Fighting Spirit of Girl With No Arms. Maybe someday.

On a lighter note, Rachel has really taken off in her drawing. I mean, really taken off. She's dramatically improved in just a few months. No time today, but by Friday I hope to have a couple of pictures scanned in and either posted here or on my Flickr account. Until then, pray I don't get sidetracked or overwhelmed. :)

Busy, busy, busy bee.

Well, I guess when I want to get things done, I should say I'm resting. :)

Warning: This is going to be a long post.

I've thought long and hard about the Son-Rise program. I love it. The principles are wonderful and the playroom is a great idea that has worked very well for us when we've been able to use it. I love their loving, accepting approach to autism and the way they focus on interaction skills in the therapy. I especially love the fact that they put the parent at the head of the program. My own experiences have proven to me that no one can get through to my kids more than those close to them, which means family then friends. Therapists offer great guidance at times but the day-to-day stuff still falls on my shoulders. And the Son-Rise program is, in my opinion, the best at helping my children overcome their delays.

That said, I have decided to no longer pursue setting up a full-time Son-Rise program. As wonderful as it is, we just don't have what we need to incorporate it like I want. We live in an area that has very few potential babysitters and those who would be great just don't have the time. So, there goes my time in the playroom. As for volunteers, I don't want the legal and financial hassle of creating a foundation or becoming part of an organization just so that I can ask college kids to come to my home to help my children grow.

And this bring me to my main reason for not doing this program. It's not really the room. Well, okay, it kind of is. We rent, and that means there are things we can and things we can't do to the room. I realized that I want the option of putting in a door with a window so I can see how things are going or setting up an intercom so that I can hear how things are going without distracting Rachel from the therapy. But it's more than this. I also want to be able to rip out the carpet and put in vinyl sheeting or laminate or something that can be easily cleaned. I want a house that looks nicer than the one we currently rent so that I won't feel we're running an amateur operation, because frankly that's the last impression I want to give. I want homey and warm, not sterile or run-down. Unfortunately, this is going to take a lot more work than just fixing up Rachel and Sarah's room. It's going to require a move and possibly buying a house. Since both are impossible at the moment, I'm putting it all on hold. The most I may try is a once a week playtime with Rachel since she has quite a few more social difficulties than Sarah.

Obviously, I'm still going to apply the basic principles.

So, the next question is, what will I do instead? Well, a long time ago, before we realized that Rachel's problems were bigger than speech, we bought a speech therapy program advocated by NATTHAN called Straight Talk by Marisa Lapish and Tom and Sherry Bushnell. We have both volumes. It has references to Christian scripture in it and advocates starting a therapy session with prayer, so if you're offended by that, just ignore it. Personally, I liked the spirituality they brought to the topic. Its core though is speech therapy and having been through private speech therapy and public (ECI) speech therapy I can say that this program does a pretty good job. Volume Two, Part One focuses on listening and creating an environment where language becomes vital. It also works on vocabulary on a "level" basis. Part Two includes developmental checklists so you'll know where your child is at age-wise in his/her speech, instructions and a form for a very nice comprehension test based on the previously mentioned checklists as well as instructions and forms for taking a language sample. Once all that is done instructions and a form are provided for daily speech therapy sessions.

Volume Two is very thorough when it comes to principles and forms. It's only weakness is a lack of suggested activities to help develop the areas mentioned in the checklists. We overcame that by looking for books like The New Language of Toys by Sue Schwartz and Joan E. Heller. Also, although they recommend making therapy part of the everyday schedule, the form and some of the instructions assume that you'll be pretty formal in most of your sessions, which may or may not be the case.

Anyway, I'm definitely going to try it again since it takes very little time out of the day to do if you decide to make it a "session" (about 15-30 min.) and even less if you incorporate the learning in an already planned activity. So, this past weekend I did all the evaluations and the sample. It was nice finally getting some stuff on paper again.

We will also be using Volume One of Straight Talk. Rachel has always had trouble with pronunciation but I didn't realize how bad it still was until I did a language sample over the weekend. It's bad enough I had to do the general overview test of speech sounds to find out which sounds she keeps missing/mispronouncing. It's a pretty long list. Next (i.e. tomorrow) comes the deeper tests on the individual sounds. Once again, from what I can see there's very little in the way of suggested activities; however, I'm sure we'll be able to find ways to teach the sounds just like we've found ways to teach more general topics.

(Note: for those who wonder how on earth a parent could not realize how badly their child mispronounces words 1) a parent expects some mistakes and 2) a parent learns to decipher a child's meaning from all sorts of gobblydegook. Just look at the parents of really young toddlers and watch them as they have what seems to be a pretty advanced conversation with a toddler who seems to be speaking gibberish. After a while of watching you'll realize the parent is just a very good translator.)

All this talk about struggles with pronunciation leads me to my final topic: a quick review of Building Bridges Through Sensory Integration by Ellen Yack, Paula Aquilla and Shirley Sutton.

Building Bridges is meant for parents, educators... heck, anyone else willing to spend the time reading it. The focus is autism and PDD or any child who has trouble processing sensory data. Part One gives a nice overview of terms and their definitions (so everyone's on the same page) as well as the theory of sensory integration and the role of the occupational therapist in your therapy plan. It's here that they also mention the Wilbarger Protocol which I found very intriguing even though they make it clear there's no scientific studies that say it's useful.

But it's Part Two that most parents will flip to immediately. That's where they talk about identifying sensory integration problems and also suggest strategies for dealing with various issues. They also have a really neat list of items you can make to help calm your child, like weighted vests (you'll have to find your own vest pattern... all they do is tell you how to modify it) and the weighted snake. This book is especially helpful for those whose children are very young up to early elementary school, possibly a few years beyond depending on the strategy.

All in all, I like this book a lot. It's given me some new insights and strategies as well as helped me figure out what to look for if I decide to get either of the girls into occupational therapy. I highly recommend it.

Finally, I'd like to give a quick nod to the publisher of this book (I have no affiliation whatsoever with them though I did live down the street from them at one point). Check it out: Future Horizons, Inc.

Update: Interaction, interaction, interaction.

FLDS and parental rights

Just wanted to add that, although I don't agree with the FLDS, I am very glad the Texas Supreme Court said CPS had overstepped its bounds (the decision said there were other options they hadn't tried yet... not that the raid was illegal... wanted to make that clear because the news keeps getting it wrong). I'm also glad this brought "standard policy" into the open. What CPS did didn't surprise those in the homeschooling community, but apparently it got to some others. Too late for links, but definitely do a Google on the latest news. This is a fascinating and important group of cases.

Late again

This weekend has been a bit busy (I say that a lot don't I?) so I didn't have a chance to blog like I'd hoped on Friday. Soooooo, better late than never.

I did all right with trying to stay calm. Pregnancy hormones didn't help, but remembering to talk slowly helped keep me calm for the most part during a very stressful week, what with Sarah and Rachel still freaking out about the puppy. Rachel no longer sits on the chair when the puppy is out of his crate: she has footie pajamas (they were on sale and in a size 14 and just adorable) that she uses as a kind of protective suit. So, when the puppy is out, she'll put on her "suit" and walk through the house (no running because the puppy will chase her) with her hands on her head (so the puppy won't try to lick them). And every time the puppy licks her feet, she giggles and says "It tickles, Mama." :) Hopefully, as the puppy gets better with obedience training, she'll get more confidence around him.

Sarah on the other hand, swings back and forth between sitting on the chair and refusing to even come out when the puppy is out. I think a lot of it depends on whether or not she's eaten, what she's eaten, and how stressful the rest of her day has been since I've noticed she's less tolerant in the afternoon than in the morning.

Both of them love watching the puppy and will gladly go up to him when he's in his crate and try to play with him. It's only when he's out of his crate that they become terrified. Using a leash helps a little but not much and often it's not feasible.

On my to do list today... call up that equine therapy place and see what the requirements are to get Rachel and Sarah enrolled. It might be a bit much to continue during the fall, but I've been thinking for some time that this might be a very good thing... maybe even necessary for their development. I mean, if they can handle being around a horse, why on earth would they get upset around a puppy? Right?

Oh, and my posting this month will definitely be spotty. I've entered the June Capsule Contest at Stitcher's Guild because I am in desperate need of some maternity clothes and I haven't been satisfied with anything I've seen in the stores. Either it's the wrong color or the wrong style or... anyway. (As if I don't have enough to do already. :))

Goal for this week: Focus on lengthening interaction.

Has it really been three months?

It's been a long three months. I found out I'm pregnant, we acquired a puppy, a close relative of mine gave birth and I was involved in the festivities and gifting, and this on top of homeschooling, therapy, and trying to figure out how to get our SR program off the ground, not to mention the daily grind of watching over 6 kids and helping out my husband.

It's been two years and we still don't have anything set up. To say I'm discouraged at this point is a bit of an understatement. So, for just this post, I'm going to rant a bit and indulge in a little self-pity. Feel free to ignore if you like. Following the rant I'll make some goals for summer.

I have had enough. I have been going full tilt since 2000 and eight years of never taking a break is more than enough to press a person to burnout. I haven't been able to get any volunteers (a fair number of calls but no takers) and I don't feel comfortable going through the university when we rent a house. I'd feel much more comfortable if we owned our house and could get it properly set up so the volunteers could be supervised in an adequate environment. Plus, there are a few repairs that need to be done before I even feel comfortable doing any sort of therapy in there (we recently fixed the blinds but the walls need to be painted and our landlord still hasn't fixed the closet door).

So, we've been doing therapy in a more informal way. Except it's getting more and more difficult to do that, especially with all the other recent draws on my time (puppy, pregnancy, etc.). Thank goodness we aren't just doing SR; we've also been using diet and nutrition and those aspects of our home-based program are going strong. In fact, I think a major reason Rachel and Sarah continue to grow is because we haven't focused all our attention on one therapy for them. SR is something I've been excited about ever since we first found out about it, but it's proving next to impossible to get the support we need for it.

Which brings me to my next topic. We haven't been able to find a babysitter. You'd think, with all the young moms in our area that maybe one or two might be willing to get a little extra cash. You know, bring the young ones and just watch five kids for an afternoon (2 hours) twice a week. It can't possibly be that hard. However, apparently when you use any number larger than 2 in reference to the number of children you would like someone to watch people just shrug and say it's too big a job.

It's not. When you have that many kids, they mostly amuse themselves. The only reason a parent is there is to make sure no one pokes their eye out.

Or are young mothers that overwhelmed by motherhood nowadays?

Granted, I've been staying mostly in my own church for this and occasionally talking to people at the university. So, maybe I need a more thorough plan to get our SR program going. I've already gotten an offer to attach our family to a larger group so that we will also be considered a non-profit organization... but the thought of all the legal hassles that might entail just makes me even more tired than before.

And that's what I feel the most right now. Tired. I'm too tired to write anymore, so I'll just go to the goals for this summer.

• Rest. That's a big one right there. Between rest and good food over the next two months, I might be ready for school to start again in August.
• Get the girls' room up to snuff. This means painting the walls and fixing the closet door, even if it means fixing it ourselves (I'd much rather the landlord fix it but you gotta do what you gotta do).
• After the room is in what I consider a therapy-conducive state, make a list of all the local churches and begin putting up ads for babysitters. Also, place ads in the local paper and at the local health food store. (If worse comes to worse there's a babysitting service that recently started up in our area... I might end up using that though I'm not sure if our budget can handle it).
• Here's the most important one. I need to figure out some low-energy way to create more cash flow. Blogging would be one way, but the problem is that the topics for the two blogs I have aren't something I feel comfortable turning into a cash flow site. And I'm not good enough at sewing yet to feel comfortable using that as a money-maker. So, for the next two months, I'm going to list my skills and see if I can't make an extra $500 a month starting in September. That's pretty reasonable, isn't it? Heck, even $100 would be nice. And before anyone thinks that my husband doesn't make enough and should make more, that isn't it. He has always worked very hard for this family and I don't want to take away from that. I just don't feel it's fair to him to shoulder the responsibility of bringing in all the income, especially when the extra we need is such a small amount. However, there's a reason I stated "low-energy" earlier. As I said before, I'm tired. I don't need a way of making money that will take up vast amounts of time I don't have.

And in the interest of making sure I rest, I think that will do it for goals this month. I will also try to post to this blog at least once a week, with a goal for each week in the various areas we're trying to improve so that I make sure we keep doing the SR program informally at the very least.

So, I open the floor. Any ideas on the above goals? And thanks for slogging through my rant. I promise I will do all in my power to make sure it's a long time before I feel the need again.

Oh, and I also got a sensory integration book and a music therapy program. The music therapy program seems to be a bit unnecessary at this point for Sarah, but I think it might really help Rachel who isn't quite as high functioning as her sister. And the sensory integration book will definitely help both of them. I'll review both next week.

Goal for this Week: Responding to unacceptable behaviors by slowing down my own behavior and responding quickly to acceptable behaviors. It's kind of like positive reinforcement except the reinforcement comes from seeing how people are much more likely to respond in the way they want if they behave in a socially acceptable way. Stimming is exempt from this.

Update: Sarah has stopped flapping her arms for her stim. She now has a phrase I can't understand that she chants. It doesn't happen more than a handful of times during the day and because I can't understand the phrase, I feel hesitant joining. So, for now, I'm just going to accept it and work on the above goal. Maybe next week.

Homeschooling in California and Update

First, the update... yesterday, for the first time ever, Rachel gave one of her sisters a piggyback ride. In fact, she gave several. :) I'm thinking it's an herbal formula we've been using the past two months called (this is just something we've found works for us and may not work for others) Complete Bone and Tissue Formula (syrup form). It's from the Christophers. We've liked it so much that we're thinking of using another product of theirs called Kid-e-Trac. That, combined with the nutritional supplements we've been using for years now (we use Dr. Schulze's Superfood recipe and cayenne now and then) should really help Rachel.

(BTW, we believe that herbs should only be taken until the body has healed itself. That means a clear focus on foods and general wellness instead of popping herbs like they're a cure-all.)

Sarah has been having some behavioral issues lately. Mostly talking back and hitting. I think it's the white flour. We don't have her on the GF/CF diet anymore since we found that as long as we kept dairy out, she seems to do better. However, I'm now convinced that white flour is a big no-no. Each time she has it, even in a small quantity, her behavior the next day gets worse. Whole wheat flour doesn't seem to have the same effect. She also seems to do better when we limit the amount of bread (whole wheat soaked and cooked seems to do her the best so far).

As for babysitters, no luck so far. Will widen my advertising this week.

Now, for homeschooling and California's recent ruling.

It's pretty disheartening. In countries like Germany, homeschooling has been banned entirely. And now, in California, the most recent ruling indicates that only a parent with teaching credentials can teach their child at home.

I'm no lawyer, but I do have some thoughts on the scope of this ruling. If only parents with valid teaching credentials can teach their child at home, what about parents of special needs children? It's conceivable that a state could also demand a specialization in teaching special needs children if you want to teach them at home yourself. This is a pretty big, panicky, slippery slope because I'm taking one ruling in one state and applying it to the nation. Actually, I'm taking more than one ruling in the state of California (I'll have to look for it since it was by the Ninth Circuit and had to do with parental rights v. the state) as well as the Nate ruling the other day. It's just I live in one of the best states to homeschool, law-wise, and I don't want anything to change.

It doesn't hurt that I'm a confirmed cynic.

I'm also glad that the CA superintendent has issued a statement (see the first relevant article linked above... fifth para.) that seems to say he won't enforce this ruling because the current system works well.

Update: found this article with this beautiful quote:

But Croskey, without hearing arguments from the school, opined that the situation was a "ruse of enrolling [children] in a private school and then letting them stay home and be taught by a non-credentialed parent."

I was taught from K-6th grade through a correspondence course. Looking back after my time spent in two public school systems (one in Texas and one in CA), I realize I learned far more than others my age and didn't suffer in the slightest when it came to friendships and socialization. Or, I should say, no more than any average pre-teen does. ;) And the primary teaching was by... my parents! It's just the way things work out with a correspondence course when kids are young.

So, yes, this ruling does seem to not only affect homeschooling parents but also those who use distance learning and correspondence courses sponsored by private schools, public charter schools, and universities.

This is bigger than I thought.

Another Update: this article from Albert Mohler found through another site adds yet another gem of a quote. This time, the article quotes the actual text of the ruling (found here in pdf format if you want to look at the original). This is the text from the original... not Mohler's thoughts.

The trial court's reason for declining to order public or private schooling for the

children was its belief that parents have a constitutional right to school their children in their own home. However, California courts have held that under provisions in the Education Code, parents do not have a constitutional right to home school their children. Thus, while the petition for extraordinary writ asserts that the trial court's refusal to order attendance in a public or private school was an abuse of discretion, we find the refusal was actually an error of law. [emphasis cavamil's]

I haven't finished reading the ruling, and I'm not a lawyer, so I can't bring any expertise on this matter, but it sounds like this is the way things have been in California for a long time. It's just that a "truce" of sorts has been in place between the homeschoolers and the public school system there. However, what disturbs me the most is that bolded phrase in the above quote. This, of course, goes back to the argument of who takes care of the child and I've run out of blogging time for the day. More tomorrow if I can.

Vaccines and the Government's Concession

Spent so much time on the update, I don't have anything more for this... but this is huge! I know the language is just ambiguous enough to avoid actually making a concession; however, for the government to change its defense like this says a LOT.

For the sake of time, I'm just going to link to this great article on what this concession means.

Update and Progress

This is going to be the first of two posts today.

Rachel has been showing a lot more interest and a lot more frustration with academics. She loves school and got upset with me this week when I didn't immediately have everything for school together right when she wanted it. :) Considering that last year she couldn't have cared less if I was teaching her numbers or letters, I'm very happy.

Also, she has been writing letters on her own. A year ago I had to figuratively pull teeth to get her to write anything at all. Now, she writes about 4-5 letters consistently (she's really fascinated by the shape of "A") and writes "letters" to me about various things. Her sentences this month have stayed at an average of 3-4 words in length. We're still working on grammar in many cases, but I'm thrilled at the sophistication I'm starting to see.

Sarah is doing very well with phonics and reading. Comprehension and sequence are a struggle (no surprise) so I'm going to make that a focus during the summer and in the playroom (we're figuring out a new schedule now that some time has opened up). In math, Sarah has been learning how to add two-digit numbers and has been doing excellent on her number facts. Her rigidity still shows up, but she's slowly becoming more flexible.

Sarah showed more progress a couple days ago: she wanted to watch a movie and my husband said no. In the past, she would have said, "But we HAVE to!" and threatened to lose it emotionally. In the recent past, she would have said, "But we have to!" and pouted, eventually finding something else to do. This time, she said, "But Dad, I like it. I want to watch it." She still kind of pouted, but she found something else to do. I hope that last response will become a new trend with her.

Both girls have been doing a lot better with company. I didn't even notice until we had a friend over this last Sunday. He said that the girls were a lot calmer and interacted better than they were when he first started coming by (two years ago). Sarah didn't climb on him and neither got into his face... much. :) I was very proud of both of them.

Although we've been using SR principles informally, I still have Getting the Playroom Going Part-time as a goal. The principles work, but the best results we've seen have been during time in the playroom. So, I've made a couple calls regarding babysitters. Hope I hear back soon. I'll let y'all know if anything pans out (sans details to protect privacy of babysitter).

Nate Tseglin

Nate Tseglin is a seventeen year old autistic boy, removed from his home because his parents actually did what their doctor recommended they do. No, wait. He was removed because his parents didn't want to drug him. No, wait...

I'm really not sure what to make of this one. The stories I've heard from people around me who have had dealings with CPS make me think that it's just a department filled with people who have no idea what they're doing: some care more than others. Stories like this, though, make me ill. I keep wondering what else could be going on, but the more I think about it, the more I get the feeling that this is really how it is. I'll add links as this story progresses.

First, from AutismVox: Nate Tseglin Removed From His Home and Institutionalized. Why?

Second, the actual article from the OC Register: Child Abuse By the Government (title not at all inflammatory /sarcasm)

This blog post from Adventures in Autism not only mentions the OC article, but also has a really great link to another blog on psychiatric medicine. It's an interesting take on the profession, and I agree with most of what's said. We've been very fortunate that Rachel and Sarah have never been self-destructive, just distant. Days like this I realize just how much of a blessing that is.

Great Breakthrough!

So, this past Saturday was not the most fun. I've been dealing with very little sleep (teething infant) and trying to get my "interview" planned out so that as soon as I get a list of doctors I'll know what to ask them (heard some interesting stuff on that score that makes me wonder if I should go with a D.O.) and a birthday party planned and... it was a long day.

The point? I wasn't doing as well with my informal eye contact attempts with Rachel and Sarah this past weekend.

Here's the fun part. :)

Rachel came up to talk to me. Not a big thing. She asked if anything was wrong. I was busy with something and didn't look at her, told her nothing was wrong I was just busy.

She then said, "Mom?"

Still focusing on something else I said, "Yeah?"

"Over here."

I looked up at Rachel who gave me full eye contact, smiled broadly, then walked away.

:)

The Autistic Spectrum Parents' Daily Helper (review)

The Autistic Spectrum Parents' Daily Helper, a workbook by Philip Abrams and Leslie Henriques, is designed for high functioning children in the autistic spectrum. It consists of two parts. The first is for the parent, filled with tips on interacting with a child in the autistic spectrum and teaching basic life skills. It also has tips on helping others understand your child as well as tips to help your child interact with the outside world. The second part is for your child and has many reproducible pictures, forms, games, and other helps. Both parts comprise about half the book.

This is a very good book, especially for those with children below the age of five. The authors do very well emphasizing the importance of play in helping a child come out of his/her shell. The games are fun and Abrams brings his training (ABA and Floortime) and his own experience into the advice regarding interaction. Unfortunately, although I agree on the importance of structure and consistency, this book doesn't stress the importance of giving your child a space where they are in complete control. My personal experience has been that when a child in the autistic spectrum has a space where they have complete control, their iron-grip on structure outside that space begins to lessen. Even an hour or two where they set the structure helps.

In spite of that, I enthusiastically give this book four stars out of five. Great resource and an enormous asset to any home with a child in the spectrum.

We're back!

I'm pretty sure I've completely lost all my readers. But just in case anyone reads this, I just wanted y'all to know that we're back online and I'll be adding content tomorrow. I've got a writing schedule worked out and everything.

In the meantime, I will be hiring a babysitter to watch my other kids during the day while I work with my two eldest in the playroom. Any suggestions (finding, screening, etc.)? Know anyone interested in earning a little extra cash? Please send me your comments.